Goodbye Our First Love

It’s been a long day without you my friend,  And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again~

Not sure if this song is affiliated to Fast and Furious but it resonates with our loss everytime I watch Vin Diesel’s tribute to Paul walker as he took the stage and sang that one liner from ” See you again”

Is been 2 whole months since Richie, our beloved dog left us.
It was a hard and difficult goodbye especially after almost 11 years of companionship. He had been with my hubby and I for the most important times of our lives; from courtship to matrimony and the birth of our 2 children. He is always there; the watcher, the silent supporter…and the forgotten.


There are things we never realize until it’s too late and Richie is one of them.
It took me 2 months to recollect my thoughts to try not to get too emotional while I pen this down. Even though is been a while, his departure had left a void.

Richie is neither my husband’s nor mine, he belongs to the both of us the day we decided to adopt him together. At 6 months of age, my husband took him away from a house where he was confined to a small area, with no electricity and little access to food and water. He gave him a nice bath and fed him some pandan cake, a food so significant to us we can no longer look at and not get emotional about it.
With his gentle and well-behaved nature, our plans to foster him quickly escalated to adoption. His cute presence had won himself a home and etched a permanent place in our hearts.

He was there every milestones of our lives, he watched us grow and we watched him aged. Richie was so well-liked by many, he is the epitome of joy and always the light of the party whenever we have company over.

Things however took a turn when Ryleigh came into the picture. In order to feed the demand of our growing child, Richie was often neglected, at times ignored and cast aside.

I’m sorry Richie, I realized my mistake far too late, I wished you were still here with us so I could make up for lost time.
I wished you lived a few more years so your presence would imprint a more vivid memory in Ryleigh’s mind. All she knows is that Richie had gone over to the rainbow bridge not knowing the true meaning of it. I wished you’d lived long enough for Travis to feel that soft silky fur of yours when he starts developing the innate ability to grasp objects.


I wished you weren’t sick and that we weren’t in a position where we had to decide between buying more time for you to suffer or make that painful decision to let you go. I’m sorry we decided on the latter because Daddy God needs you back sooner than we expected.

It was painful to witness the last days of your life, the way you vomit compulsively was truly heart-wrenching to watch. It was also hard to administer IV drip on you, with my trembling hands I had to make fast and swift insertion in order to lessen the trauma on your tiny little body. Even then, my amateur skills had bruised your skin causing you to yelp in pain. I’m sorry we had to do this to keep you alive, you weren’t eating.

Seeing you go was the hardest. It was a torment to see you get sedated, prepared to receive the lethal jab. The vet told us to let her know when we are ready. But really? When will we ever be ready?
We have a few long moments with you, just the 3 of us, like the ol times.
We played ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow‘ on repeat as we watch your eyes fade into nothingness when the green liquid was administered. We cried like we’ve lost the most precious things on earth.

We cried hard.

Richie, I’m sure you have scored distinction to a place where there is no pain, only love; a sanctuary where you can truly called home again.

They say all dogs go to heaven and I truly second that.richie
R.I.P my precious.

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