Like a yearly festival, I always feel obligated to write something heartfelt during my birthday month.
This august is an especially important one, not only I’m turning a year older (oh great) I’ll also be witnessing the birth of my child.
But first, I’m not going to take a selfie, instead I’ve something to reflect upon.
(maternity shot by Bobby Kiran Yeo)
Many times I when I look back at my life, I pondered about the people who dislike me to bits and started dwelling upon it.
I always try hard to figure how can I make them hate me less and often blame myself that I must’ve done something terribly wrong which led them to such unforgivable state of mind.
Then I realized something; one judges another for no apparent reason. They condemn ‘the’ soul because some random third party chooses to stir shit about me or whoever is being targeted at.
In short, I was convicted *Die bitch Die* even before I have a chance to redeem myself. These people put pins and needles on my track making sure every step I take hurts, and for that brief moment wave of bitterness swarm upon me I can’t help but feel like a total loser.
I really do.
This year, as usual I still have my fair share of people feeling displeasure about my existence. But then I have a even bigger share of people that appreciate my presence in the Social Media community.
When I started my makeup artist career late last year, I had a humble pool of clients that are open to give me the chance in building up my portfolio.
They ‘lended’ me their unmade faces, so I could present a clear before and after difference.
Eventually I found joy in making up for everyday people like you and me so much, I decided to transit full force into this make artistry :D
I’ll be forever grateful to people who helped me kick start this career.
Then came the news about my pregnancy.
That astounding amount of congratulatory messages swept me off my feet, people are genuinely happy for me!
I have a few friends who stood by me, giving me constructive advice whenever I’m in doubt, not just the 2 cents worth where is all cheap talk and no action.
I even reunite with my long time friend who gave birth in June.
This pregnancy has made tremendous progress so far. I received playpens, feeding bottles, lots of baby clothes, diapers, maternity wear, breast pumps, sterilizer, I even had 3 boxes of nursing pads! The amount of hand-me-downs is enough to fill my entire checklist of baby items.
All that was left were the big ticket items like child restraint, stroller and of course my exorbitant Obstetrician fees.
Just when I thought when gift receiving was over, I had a client who came over last weekend which also happened to be my last few assignments handed me this:
A client which I have zero relation to pass me a gift to welcome my baby.
Is not the importance on the content or the value of this gift, instead the effort my client took to purchase something for my little one warms my heart to no end.
Aside from that, I also received private messages via facebooks and emails from people I do not know of blessing me with heartfelt words for my unborn child. The sweetest gesture anyone can receive.
My realization up to this point:
Yes, there may be a fraction of people who dislike, despised, hate (come at me with your best shot) me but for the rest of world out there, I truly believed that I’m loved by many.
Once again, thank you everyone for all the love and blessings, it has been the most rewarding year for me yet.
This birthday, my top priority is to have a healthy delivery made possible naturally.
Screw weight gain and stretch marks, may my Vjay spilt into unimaginable sections to welcome a lively little girl, for she is already kicking up a storm inside.